Back during my childhood days, things were different. My parents were very strict back then. Malay cultures were so at it, although my late father was trying to be a bit modern with me and my other siblings. Not with my mom, she's the most strict of all.
At the age of 2 I'd always went out with father, whereever he went to. I joined him at the football field, well at least I'd sit beside the "tiang gol" and played with my own ball. Or I went to my grandpa's buffalo farm and helped out my father (yeah more to trouble-ing him around) took gallons of water from the well or tank to the buffalo's "hut" for them to drink. All these made my mom at times jealous and scolded me for being "ekor" to my father. He was such a loving person that although he scolded me and made me cried he would hug me, and there were times that I cried until I slept. (Even during my teenager)
First day at school, father sent me to class and mom would only picked me up at the noon. Father was back then worked in Mulaut Abbattoir (sp), when it was still owned by the Government. When father arrived from work, I was the happiest person on earth. I was so close with my father, very close, and I knew most of his hobbies and activities at leisure.
Although so, he never spoilt me. Some people may thought, being the daddy's girl will became a spoilt-brat or something like that. Not me. With mom's "strict-ness" at times, father won't let her girl get scolded. Before, we were scolded with belt or even hangers, nowadays, if you do that, you could get convicted to a household crime. But although I was then being bit/scolded, I was still close with father. I would asked mother, where father went to, if I couldn't find him around.
Kids nowadays, they can go to their neighbour's house and play around, but during my time, my parents wouldn't let me to go to our neighbour's house, although they were infact my cousins. They preferred me to stay at home and study. Honestly I only gained the "independence" during my college years, by staying at the hostel, I could always went out with all my friends and even boyfriend, because, my parents wouldn't know. Well tell me, who wouldn't do this?
I have been staying over my mother's home now for almost two months, that I shared so many sweet and bad moments with my mother and I have been observing how things go around. Back then when I was at the age of my other siblings, I couldn't even have a $10 note in my purse. And now.. they have their own allowance every month!! My father would never gave me any notes, unless for belanja sekolah ;) which was $1 or if I was lucky.. $5 .. (but no money for the whole week after that.. if you know what I meant)
But still, some of these teenagers nowadays, can't be so thankful that they ended up enjoying their so-called allowance buying stuffs like shoes, bags even worst.. They got themselves designer's stuff, for example, chanels bags, prada shoes etc. Back then, when I badly wanted a pair of new shoes, my mother would asked me to wear my shoes until I couldn't even wear it. Believe me, I still remember that my school shoes were totally worn down, that the leather skin peeled off and the front part of the shoes were torn that some of classmate would laugh at it. Then I could get a new Dr Marten shoes... (only after I sulked for not eating). I remember during my college years, it was my first year, that most of my colleagues had their first LAPTOPS, as we will be having lots of assignments which required us to typed it, furthermore, we would have lots of presentations. I asked from my father to buy one. But all father told me was, to use my snail-speed old personal computer at home. In the second year, I ended up buying one, well those days, we hire-purchased it. I did all by myself, I only asked my father to be my guarantor. Unlike these days, my mother wouldn't let my siblings to hire-purchased their laptops but she bought it cash for them, aren't they lucky? And I had it in a hard way :)
But nowadays, when you asked for it, the parents, will say yes and give you the cash. And still, did they thankful enough?
During my college years, I could only fly to Perth (it was educational trip) after being sponsored by mother. Well she sponsored me, because she didn't want me to stay here in Brunei while they were in KL, because she was afraid that I would up to no good. (well I was a bit naughty those days). I had my own savings, that I spent it there but not too much. Otherwise, she won't let me to fly or travel anywhere, (even to Miri or Limbang), although I said that I would use my own saving and etc.
Compared to now, my siblings would fly and travel as they wish, and my mother will just let them go. (although she did ask me to "ESCORT" them) At the end of the day, my mother will start worrying and "yak-ing" all day long TO ME! Nope, I am posting these, not because I am envy of their modern life or nothing. But I am far more grateful that my parents were strict to me, that I learned a lot from from them. And far more better, I am not spoilt with CASH.
I spent a lot of time with mother nowadays, eversince I started working. I tend to know lots of things from my mother, that we shared lots of things especially the KIDS (siblings) problems. There had been lots of things that mother has kept inside her mind. And I am at her place, I would explode and I might hit someone. (I am the tempered one) Being the eldest and the first one graduated that is. I have never been so close to my mother when my father was still around.
When my father left us, mother was a bit lost, but she turned out to be a very strong person, that I have ever known in this world. She turned to be a different person. Since then, she never scolded my sisters and brother, especially during their exams season. Not like my days, everytime the exam seasons came, she would push me to study and will scolded me for every single thing (even for the cup or glass or spoon that I accidentally dropped). Lately her patience showed. I have this moody attitude when I got tired or not enough sleep, but mother was the only person could stand it. If I do this before, she would eat me up.. HIDUP2!!
Why am I posting this? I am just sharing my childhood and comparing to now modern life. I could have whatever I wanted those days, I could say, my father could afford most of it, but, he never spoilt me, Thank GOD. I have to worked hard to have new shoes, new bags and a LAPTOP. Being scolded was like a daily living to me those days, and now? My siblings (except my brother, he had what I had before hehe..) should be thankful of what they have now. And my expectations from are more than what I've got, academic wise. I never had enjoyful life during my school and college days. To go to a theme park pun I have to pujuk father or wait until my cousin to bring me. Those days, we don't have MALL, or YAYASAN.. or COFFEE BEAN.. :) but at least we had a free theme park.. Jerudong Park .. that's where the teenagers during my days, DATES.. and having our hang outs. As for me, my parents would always escort me :) Druing my college days, I would only went out with my boyfriend if i was staying at the hostel. But now, my mom was not as fierced as before, that she accepted it if my siblings are in-love or dating.
One day I know, I will be having my own kids, and I will bring them up as how my parents' had brought me up. Even now, I am trying my best to live at modesty because I learned a lot from my mother. She was only a clerk, and trust me, she never had any credit cards or even bank loan, and yet she could afford a Prada or Chanel bag, if she wants to ;) and yet she spent it wisely.
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